916 & Splits (Kanye Understands)

                 

Life is Outstanding and Very Essential to us all. If you caught what I meant there then you understand where I'm going without it being said. If not, well maybe this isn't for you but at the end of the day I wish it was for everyone.

Random question I want you to ask yourself. Why do you let your insecurities rule & ruin your life? We all know what each of us is insecure about but yet we refuse to admit out loud what it is. Ever heard of the saying "admitting is the first step"?  Saying something verbally out loud makes your insecurity seem so small doesn't it? Or am I the only one who feels that way? Meh, suit yourself. I guess we'll continue with me admitting mine out loud. So imagine if you will me yelling out the top of my lungs "BEING LEFT ALONE!" Wow, that felt amazing to say! Why you ask? Because of the simple fact that as soon as I said it something clicked......I'm not as alone as I think I am or will be.

Seems too easy to be true right? Let me explain. On my 30 years on this lovely earth I have made plenty of friends. Some can say I am a very sociable person, a social butterfly maybe? Umm lets just stick with sociable person. Has more of a manly edge to it. Anyway as stated I've made a lot of friends and for me to say I'm scared to be alone is very foolish for me to say. Not to brag or boast myself but the way my personality and genes are set up, ummmmmmm I'll never be left alone. The only reason and the true reason I'll be left alone is if I allow myself to be left alone. If that is the case then why the hell am I scared of being alone when in actuality what I'm saying is that I'm scared of myself! It feels weird to say and admit that. It's kinda like having another person in my body bullying me basically. I've never been one to be bullied so I'm not going to let my insecurity of being left alone bully me any longer. Let's be honest here, what's the worse that can happen if I stand up to my insecurity? Abso-fucking-luthy nothing! With that being said its time to open up more and welcome more people in and to not be cautious and afraid to let others in due to the fact that in the back of my mind the insecurity of me wondering if they'll leave and I'll be stuck alone. Pfffffttt fuck that noise homieeeee. The only outcome I see from doing that is enjoying the ups and downs of life. I'd rather face a ton of downs than to not face anything in life. Sure pain may come along but pain makes us stronger right?

I bring this up so that someone who might be in the same situation as me thinks twice before letting your insecurities ruin a good thing such as love from coming into your life. And one more thing before I go and I want everyone to know, Musiq Soulchild raps now -___-. People are dumb, a person is smart.

Whoever Yelped it, dealt it.

For some odd reason I've been on this pizza hype lately and today I was in the mood for Pizza Hut's cheesy crust just like a normal fat ass would be at the butt crack of dawn this morning. But as I stated earlier that this was during the early morning so I did not know the correct time this Ronald Regan endorsed pizza establishment would be open. So like any Internet savvy person who can search up porn like no ones business I searched to see what time Pizza Hut would be open. I then came across two Pizza Hut's out in Oakland. One restaurant was half Pizza Hut half KFC. Who would of ever thought those two could get along so well. You would think it would be the restaurant version of Bloods and Crips yo! Now while looking up the time of opening of Pizza Hut I then discover my new guilty pleasure for reading horrible scored Yelp reviews on restaurants and lets not kid ourselves here, no one would ever think a Pizza Hut that's also a KFC would be a 5 star restaurant...It was a 1 and half! My favorite score Yelp to read!!!!!But before I get into this review let me share this little side story for you all. I notice the score is 1 and a half at both Pizza Hut's and I didn't want to take my chances at the hybrid Kentucky Pizza Fried establishment, I decided to go with the other one and I did not and I repeat DID NOT want to spend my hard earned money on just a 1 and a half pizza place (Yea I'm a diva like that.) I decided to see if my brother would buy it and of course it came at a cost. He said he would do it if I took a picture with a huge bowl over my head while doing jazz hands. For a split second I wanted to spit in his face but the cheesiness was calling me mane! So I did it and of course the guy took the picture. God my brother is a jerk. Enough of me being digress, back to the review. While reading the review of the Pizza Hut/KFC I found a hilarious one but I couldn't stop right there. I read another, and another! I found out that I LOVE reading horrible Yelp reviews. 2 that I found out stuck out like chicks with cakes in those leggings. My dear apologizes to the chicks with anti cakes in those leggings by the way. I will now share with you all the top 2 that I found and will also share my comments regarding the reviews. Enjoy!






This review is from Carol C in Alameda, Ca regarding the Pizza Hut/KFC I spoke of earlier. "Even though the employees were friendly and helpful, the pieces of chicken were scrawny looking and small compared to what I got earlier this afternoon. They were also hard and dry and sort of chewy...not good". (sigh) Of course the elephant in the room is that Ms. Carol C went to KFC two times in one day! Now lets look at the time frame. By the looks of it I'm gonna take an uneducated guess and say that when she had the "scrawny looking" pieces of chicken that it was dinner time due to the fact that she mentioned that she visited this place in the afternoon. Now lets do the math. Normally fast food restaurants in Oakland tend to shut down shops around 10pm. As she mentioned she went in the afternoon, lets just say is noonish. Hopefully I did my math right that leaves a 10hr window. But oh no, when it comes to consuming fried chicken from KFC that happens to be roommates with a  pizza joint, that simply is not enough time to be heading back to the same day. What I am getting at is, Carol C from Alameda, Ca, I think someone should Yelp your food life decisions because I doubt this isn't your first time dropping the ball on picking places to consume horrible food. You are like the cookie monster of bad foods B. I wish you and your stomach the best.




Now this reviewer is right from my backyard of Oakland. His name is Victor G. Mr. Victor G took the time out of his day and reviewed the self proclaimed and "classy" burger joint, Burger King and gave them 1 star."After getting my change from a $20, i showed the cashier he was $5 short. he didn't say anything. he got the key from the manager, open the till, gave me a 5 and still said nothing.the fried onions (1.29)were small, tasteless,  nuggets(1) bland. only the seattle's best coffee(1) medium roast was satisfying. No apologizes = 1 star. If apologized would give 2 stars." Damn it Victor G! You are from Oakland bro! You better act like you aint trippin when someone gives you cash with no questions asked! And what in the FUCK is wrong with your taste buds and body insides for you to be ordering fried onions, nuggets, and muthafuckin coffee together! Trust me when I say this and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Bitch, your toilet hates you and your butt hole. You disgust me!


My prior guilty pleasure was watching old reruns of Dateline: To Catch a Predator but now that has been replaced with horrible Yelp reviews. Now normally as most you know I tend to leave with a smart remake but I would like to say that if Yelp ever reads this blog please hire my brother Darius Ingram to work within your company. Let me stop fooling myself and search for reviews on McDonald's Fish Mcbites. A person is smart, people are dumb.


P.S. this blog was dedicated to my sister from another mister, Kimberly Christophersen.

Since I've been gone. Did you miss me or my thoughts?

                                                                             

We'll look what the cat done dragged in?! I know, I know. It's been a few years since I've posted on here and for that I do apologize. It truly means a lot to know that people actually like to read my rants and opinions on things in life. It definitely means that I'm not as crazy as the local weirdo waving a sign on the street telling you judgement day is coming and Kim And Kanye's baby is why. But on second thought it wouldn't surprise me if that baby did have the power to spit out acid such as the dinosaur from the classic 90's film Jurassic Park. But thats neither here nor there. The main reason why I've decided to come back and blog is from a very close friend/brother of mine texted me earlier asking why I haven't blogged in awhile. To me I looked at it as I have a talent to entertain or spark a thought into some one's head so let me get back to it. The people's blogger? Naw I won't go that far but I should trademark that shit cuz let's face it a brotha's gotta eat?!





A lot of things have happened since we've last spoke or shall I say you read. Mountain Dew code red I believe is on the shelf but yet those fuckers took down Hostess?! Sorry to get all aggressive about that but believe me it was a tough time when that happened. I was tempted to just do one topic tonight but there was so many things running through my mind that I just wanted to give you all a sample platter of what to look forward to from me blogging about and these will not be in any particular order so don't come on here trying to be the blog police and fine me (aka stop following me on a social media site cuz I guess that's what the kids do these days to get back at someone. God we are such weenies!) for not discussing a topic before the other I listed, ok? Cool. Now back to the topics I will discuss on a later date. Trayvon Martin's case outcome, the hipster movement or as I call it "let's dress or act like we don't care for the trends just so we can fit in". I know it makes absolutely no sense at all but like I said I'll touch on that subject later on. "Real niggas"..where do I sign up at?,  the sorcery of Instagram; Volume 1. Girl, why must you do a mirror of the same image for all your selfies?, Volume 2. The era of the "Instagram Nigga", Volume 3. You damn right I'm gonna try to hit rather than try to wife you up with pictures like that up. Dumb hoe. That's just to name a few that I will be happy to touch base on along with my misadventures in this crazy, harsh, and yet still kind world I live in. Please stay tuned for much or just go head and milk your cows on
Farmsville. A person is smart, people are dumb.